My keyboard has been inactive recently. My mind has not been able to wrap itself around spirituality or sobriety in writing. It’s not a depression which I am feeling nor a sense of disconnect. I see this as a time of self-appraisal.
I was a huge fan of the TV series “Wagon Train” many years ago. Ward Bond as Major Seth Adams led his trekkers across the plains to a new life following the Civil War years. He was the essence of wisdom and patience. Many dangers threatened the wagons and their occupants during the months-long trip. Whenever the hostile natives appeared atop the surrounding hills, Major Adams would signal the wagons to circle and form a defensive front to fight the attackers.
That describes me today. I’m circling my emotional wagons in anticipation of difficult times ahead. My focus remains on my Lord, my sobriety continues to be a mainstay of life, but, as David lamented in the Psalms, my enemies surround me and appear to be preparing an attack.
Some of those enemies are real and imminent. One is declining health associated with aging. The oomph disappeared several years ago being replaced by aches and pains. Today, upon reminiscing over accomplishments of the 45 year-old me, I am truly amazed that I had the energy and capacity to do those things. My focus now is fighting off the numerous maladies which are inherited gifts of DNA. If I allowed it, I could easily wallow in those things over which I have no control. I would do well to embrace the “serenity to accept the things which I cannot change.”
Another pervasively disturbing realization is that my idealistic world view is not shared by all of humanity. Many of my species do not want peaceful co-existence nor spiritual enlightenment. Many do not uphold the value of each human experience nor the equality of all human beings. Seriously, I question what Pollyanna world I have lived in for much of my life. Until recently I have imagined that the entire world dreamed of world peace and brotherhood just as I do.
So, I circle my wagons. I know that I am not alone, that I have Major Adams to console and calm me, that I have other trekkers crossing the plains to share my ideals. But, those enemies of a life which we hold dear to us are on the hilltop horizons with tomahawks ready to scalp and arrows ready to pierce. They despise our ways, they want to destroy our values. They disguise themselves as world leaders and church leaders, as politicians, as patriots, as sheep. Beware!