This journey I am on, the same journey all of us undertake, has met its share of stone walls, dead ends, and heartbreak. What seemed like a terrific idea yesterday becomes today’s need to backtrack and regroup. A person who comes aside and walks that path with me briefly decides to take the alternate route lying ahead and becomes just a memory of good times. The opportunity not taken shows up later in life as one of those “I told you so” moments. It can be a tortuous life through hell we build for ourselves or a meandering trek through serenity. We have the ability to make that choice.
I write as larrypaulbrown and as gabbygraywhiskers. Larry is the idealist, the one who sees the possibilities of life through rose-colored filters and believes in the innate goodness of mankind and the infinite power of an incomprehensible, undefinable God. Whatever turmoil and hostility abounds in the world, Larry believes it can be conquered by love and compassion.
Gabby on the other hand is a realist. He relates his world view from the experiences of a life deep in the nitty-gritty of addiction, disappointment, and social disapproval. His personality is a composite of the people who have joined in his journey through life. His world view is tempered by the harshness of ignorance and misunderstanding. Gabby is more of an in-your-face kind of man who sees injustice in the world and wants to single-handedly and vociferously confront it and then fix it. The compassion he envisions is backed by a good ole boy creed which ridicules and challenges stupidity. He’s got something to say and, “dang it, you’re gonna friggin listen.”
I continually struggle with these two personas that fill my brain with thoughts and writing material. Sometimes I think that, yes, dementia is finally taking over. But, more often, I simply go with the flow and allow whomever has a pressing need to vocalize to take the pen and fill the page with his ramblings.
My goal is not to be published, not to become a noteworthy blogger, not to become a recognized name in writing circles. I merely want to touch lives in a meaningful way.
“Aw hell, there Larry goes again with that mushy crap. NosirreeBob, what we’re gonna do is change the friggin world whether the world likes it or not.”