Month: December 2016

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KISS 2016 GOODBYE

I’ve learned not to make resolutions for New Year’s after many failed attempts to change things I perceive as unhealthy or immoral.  I mean really, what’s so darned unhealthy about a Krispie Kreme in bed once in a while?  However, I do prioritize the opening prayer we recite at the meeting tables:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Of course, being the alcoholic that I am (some of us are sicker than others), I find need to amend this prayer by adding “things I cannot change such as my past and other people, things I can change such as my future and myself, and the wisdom which is found in my recovery program.”

Works for me.  No regrets in February when I’ve gained weight rather than lost 5 pounds, when I’ve cut loose with a few cuss words rather than a prayer for someone I dislike, when I’ve spent too much on my credit card.  Keeping resolutions simple is sober living at its best.

For 2017, I wish everyone a great year filled with compassion and understanding.  Whether you are one who is facing challenges in recovery or you are one looking for spirituality in a crazy, screwed-up world, remember there is a Higher Power which has everything under control.  Simply ask that almighty power for the serenity, courage, and wisdom.

new-year-2017

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MARIANNE WILLIAMSON

from EVERYDAY GRACE by Marianne Williamson

“We cannot give what we do not have.  We cannot bring peace to the world if we ourselves are not peaceful.  We cannot bring love to the world if we ourselves are not loving.”

LORD,  it all starts with me, doesn’t it?  Challenge me to acknowledge your power, live your power, share your power.  It is the only reason for existence in your world.  Transform me, bring light to the dark places, reveal love where I believe there is none.

It’s an inside job that only you are qualified to do. AMEN

from ST. FRANCIS

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where injury, pardon; where doubt, faith; where despair, hope; where darkness, light; where sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

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My wish for you

If you are one of millions who see the Christmas season as a time of extreme emotional turmoil and you are one who somehow misses the joy and excitement everyone around you is celebrating, then may you find peace in knowing you are not alone.  Turn to the comforts of your AA  groups who understand; lean upon each other for the support necessary to survive another holiday episode.  We, as a family in recovery, find within the fellowship others who have walked this tightrope many times.  We have experienced the fine line associated with sociable interaction with “normal” holiday celebrants and the challenges of not stepping over that fine line into relapse.  The booze is flowing, caution is often thrown to the wind, we are tempted to have “just one”.  It need not happen.

Know your program, know your limits, be on firm ground with your HP, and finally, always have your contact numbers with you if you are anticipating a holiday social affair or work party including booze.  Don’t push it.  If you find yourself out of your comfort zones, don’t be afraid to run for the hills and the safety of an alcohol-free atmosphere.  It’s your sobriety and your life.  Nobody at that party will care as much about your sobriety as you do.

Well meaning friends and family have in the past chided me, “Aw, c’mon, you’ve been sober over 30 years, a glass of wine won’t hurt.  You’re not an alcoholic anymore.”

And that’s OK.  They don’t understand the nature of the beast.  But, I do.  I pray to never forget the heartbreak, the lying, the cheating, the self-loathing, the stealing, the pain and agony of the bottle. Even 36 years later, all that is just one drink away.  I am as close to a relapse as any one of you.  Whether we are celebrating 24 hours, 30 days, 1 year, or many years of sobriety, all of us are just one drink away from the misery we knew in our active addictions.

One of the demons of the Christmas season is the loneliness.  Don’t feed it.  Go against your feelings to isolate.  Avoid depression like the plague.  We all have different ways to cope with negativity.  Indulge yourself and a sober friend in a luxurious, expensive meal.  How about a winter cruise?  Shop for a new outfit for yourself.  One of my favorite head-cleaners is a hike in the forests nearby.  And, of course, meetings, meetings, meetings.  Helping and reaching out to other alcoholics is a sure cure for the holiday blues.

As we progress, we learn what to avoid.  One of my undeniable downers is the mall at Christmas.  The decorations, the laughing children, and Santa Claus invariably bring back memories which should stay buried.  Christmas music is another.  I limit myself to listening just a few days towards the end of the season.  We are all different in how we handle the rampant emotions.  You will find your remedy and you can stay sober.

In closing, this is my Christmas wish for you.  God bless you for finding the courage and desire to maintain sobriety in a crazy, screwed-up world.  We are not alone because we know there are millions just like us worldwide.  We are a brotherhood of God’s children who once lived broken lives.  We have been redeemed.  We have been made alive.  We are not perfect but, God knows, we are better than we used to be.  Your HP and mine loves us more than anything in the world.  That gift of love is the true magic of Christmas.  It was created to be shared.  Share your love, share your life. Value and protect your sobriety for it is indeed a treasure from God.  Merry Christmas.

 

 

 

 

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COMPASSION

com·pas·sion

[kəmˈpaSHən]

 NOUN
  1. sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others:
    “the victims should be treated with compassion”

    synonyms: pity · sympathy · empathy · fellow feeling · care · concern · solicitude-sensitivity · warmth · love · tenderness · mercy · leniency · tolerance · kindness ·humanity · charity

     
    antonyms: indifference · cruelty
     

“Lord, compassion, it’s really tough sometimes.  I just don’t feel it when looking at the world we have today.  Terrorists killing people.  Criminals killing people.  White hating black. Black hating white.  Christians hating Muslims.  Do you really expect me to have warm, fuzzy, compassionate feelings for people?”

“My son, let me put it this way.  Have you ever heard about walking a mile in another man’s shoes?”

“Of course.”

“That’s compassion.  Being willing to share his burden and see the world through his eyes.  Has nothing to do with warm, fuzzy feelings.  Has nothing to do with feelings at all.  It’s all about living in peace and understanding with my other children.  You must be willing.”

“Oh, willing?  I don’t know.  Lord, I’m running on low with my willingness supply.”

“That was not a suggestion for your consideration, my son.  Let me rephrase it.  YOU SHALL BE WILLING.  AMEN?”

“Got it.  I’m willing, I’m willing.  Amen. Now, Lord, about that new Corvette I’d like for Christmas…….”

“Grrrrrrr. (are these humans truly my creation?)”

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IT’S AN INSIDE JOB

“World peace must develop from inner peace.  Peace is not just mere absence of violence.  Peace is, I think, the manifestation of human compassion.”

DALAI LAMA XIV

Recovery from alcoholism is often referred to around our meeting tables as an “inside job”.  Every time I hear this my mind immediately goes to the questioning of self, “how is my inside world?”

It would be absolutely hypocritical to allow others to think that my inner being is always peaceful.  It would be fatal to my sobriety to convince myself that all is well inside at all times.  I am human, the world is flawed, God is within and the three are involved in a battle for my soul.  It’s truly that simple.  I no longer have the idealism of a younger man who is on a crusade to change the world.  The crusade now is for soul to emerge victorious over ego and the world.

Escaping the ravages of alcoholism and living in the beauty of recovery has allowed my Higher Power whom I call Lord and Savior to work the miracle of saving grace, a grace that is unmerited and undeserved.  The anger is gone, the self-loathing is gone, the fear of life is gone.  That has been replaced by introspection, meditation, and reflection.  Through these disciplines, I believe, compassion is initiated.  When I experience the peace through soul searching and self forgiveness, as my HP has forgiven me, then I am more able to regard my brothers and sisters with active compassion.

It’s an inside job.  World peace starts with me.

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PEACE WITHIN

Are you a battler?  Do you argue at every turn with the ones you already know to be right?  We simply have a need to be scrappy.  No one can counsel us, no one knows better than us, and certainly no one shall tell us how to run our lives.  This is not a just a denominational problem or a cultural problem or a societal problem.  It is a human problem and it creates an enormous load of unnecessary baggage and heartache.

Psalm 46:10New International Version (NIV)

10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.

Exploring great verses of Scriptures and studying the possible meanings often brings renewed comfort for the soul and deeper understanding of the human condition.  So it is with this verse found in the book of Psalms.  David, the assumed author, is one of the most studied and dichotomous characters of Jewish literature.  A great warrior and king, his lineage to the person of Jesus Christ is presented in the New Testament’s Gospels.  But, King David was also a man of exquisite writing skills expressing elements of peace and calm in his society’s volatile environment.  The Jewish rendering of “be still” is often “cease striving”.  Relax, accept, understand that I am God.  In this context the required action is passive.  “Just stop and shut up for a minute, listen to me.”

But another response which requires initiative on the reader’s part is to view this with more emphasis on “know that I am God”.  The God of the Jews is telling us in no uncertain terms who He is and that He indeed is Lord of the universe, of all nations and of all peoples.  He is saying, “Relax, I’ve got this under control because I am God, not just your God but everybody’s God.”  The act of accepting and knowing has to be accomplished in the stillness of God’s presence.  This is not just a Jewish or Christian obedience; it is part of any faith’s supplication to the entity called God.

And therein we can find peace within.  The inherent human need to challenge, to argue, to dispute spiritual matters can readily be appeased and need not be a part of our inner sanctum.  First, be still.  But then, know the truth of your God.

Very often we have said, “I am going to let God control my life.”  Truly, does God need us to give control to him?  Maybe we need to kick back and understand that He is in control.  Matters not if we give him control.  He’s already got us covered.  The peace within happens when we accept that.

 

 

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HIS GIFT TO US, not in a manger

reason-logic

 

Before a committee of well-intentioned religionists come to my front door with blazing torches and wood to stoke the fires around my stake, let me take the above statement to the next  level.

I also love the comfort of scriptures whether they be writings of Christianity, Islam, or Buddhism.  I celebrate the holy days of Christianity because that is my tradition.  I pray earnestly to the God of my understanding for guidance and instruction.  There is no need to incinerate me with your holier-than-thou rhetoric.  I get it.  If you are one of the torch bearers, then you are obviously incensed by a challenge to your belief system.

And that is a good thing.  THINK!  Your God (mine too) gave you at birth an essence which is intended as a spiritual guidance system, logic and reason.  Ok, call it the Holy Spirit if you must.  I’m fine with that.  However, everything we have accumulated in religious baggage since that moment is man-made and fallible.  Again, before you stick that torch to the wood, recognize that I am not calling that accumulation wrong or unreal.

Religion, when it upholds the value of all peoples everywhere in peaceful coexistence, is a wonderful thing.  Theology, when  it guides adherents to tolerance and acceptance of other beliefs, is  a desirable undertaking.  But, mankind somehow takes religion and theology into another universe with ‘thou shalts’ and ‘thou shalt nots’, with dogma, with creeds and opinions.

I know y’all hate it when a person who is heretical and faithless quotes your scriptures, but, I’ll do it anyway:

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

 Maybe Jesus was referring to the innocence of babes in their spirituality before religion and theology had an opportunity to corrupt them.  Oh, what do I know?  I’m just an old, uneducated codger who believes the world could be a spectacular place for everyone if religionists would focus on compassion and “peace on earth”.

Merry Christmas…….y’all

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