You love me anyway🙏

I find it difficult today to feel loved because my heart is not one of empathy or sympathy surrounding the health crisis enveloping the Administration.   This post was written 5 months ago, a reader put a like on it today and I had to review it to remember my words.  THANK YOU readers for making blogging more heart work than brain work.

Have I denied,
have I abandoned,
have I blasphemed,
have I lied,
have I been the prodigal,
have I been Judas,
have I been Peter,
have I driven the nails,
have I been the mocking crowd?

YES, BUT YOU LOVE ME ANYWAY

I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway

lyrics from SIDEWALK PROPHETS

Leonard Cohen

unshackled-2So many of us have lived our lives placing unmerited value on the opinions of others while discrediting our personal truth and reality.  Breaking the shackles of people-pleasing requires honest self-appraisal, a healthy dose of self-esteem, and an enormous commitment to self-realization.  

pride8

….as near as the destination may be, it’s still the journey that matters….

“For the millions in a prison
That wealth has set apart—
For the Christ who has not risen,
From the caverns of the heart

For the innermost decision
That we cannot but obey
For what’s left of our religion,
I lift my voice and pray;
May the lights in the land of Plenty
Shine on the truth someday.”

—Leonard Cohen

“pig in the python”

 

 

“sharp statistical increase represented as a bulge in an otherwise level pattern.”

young, mature, old

Picture a python that has just eaten a pig.  We are the bulge in that python’s belly.  We are the baby boomers.  Born between 1946 and 1964, we were part of the phenomenal birth rate increase following the end of WWII.  Life in the USA was good.  It was a time of jobs, prosperity, security, enforced peace, a resumption of  families supported by dads returning from the sacrifices of war time.

We grew up with the images of “Ozzie & Harriet”, “Leave it to Beaver”, “Father Knows Best” teaching us how life should be.  Beginning in 1959 we watched 14 seasons of the Cartwrights on “Bonanza” showing us how ‘real men’ lived.  Back then the “Nightly News” was a reporting of factual events rather than an attempt to entertain or politicize.

Our parents intended for us to have it all, a better life than they had.  Job security was the norm enabling dad to spend his entire career with one employer.  Mom stayed at home keeping house, prepared great home-cooked meals for her loved ones, chaired the local PTA, drank socially with her Wednesday afternoon card club.  Junior and Sis went to segregated schools, attended sock hops on Saturday night, dreamed of being the prom King and Queen, prepared for college and an independent life with families of their own.

Remember those days?  Me neither.  Here’s how it really was.  Bobby’s dad was escaping to the city on ‘business trips’ to meet the young, hot secretary from the office for a few hours of sex.  Betty’s mom was sneaking martinis every afternoon before the kids came home from school.  Junior was getting high with his friends and Sis was given to bobbing in the back seat of her boy friend’s car.

And we became emancipated.  Woodstock, the Beatles, the Doors, Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell, the Civil Rights movement, the Vietnam war protesters, the political corruption all met within the 1960s to create a generation of young people unwilling to accept the status quo.  We were called radical and degenerate for rejecting ‘Ozzie & Harriet’ and the ‘Cartwrights’, following, instead, a desperate departure from our parents’ dreams.  Much of that idealism was relinquished with the passing years, and most of us settled into responsible adult relationships and behaviors just like mom and dad.  But, a few of us became ‘forever dropouts’.

My name is Larry and I am a baby boomer.  Today marks my 73rd birthday.  Still haven’t figured out if I’m still a dropout or just an anti-social senior citizen.

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come and rest

disconnect

Welcome to my little get-away.  Do you like it?  Before we settle in let’s toss some of the excess baggage.  There’s no room for those resentments about the past nor worries about tomorrow.  Get rid of that backpack of responsibilities weighing you down.  Settle in under my palm tree and let’s look just beyond the horizon.  It’s calling us, isn’t it?  Rest for the soul. 

Our society (read between the lines here – the greed of Western culture) is insane with its preoccupation with material goods and financial success.  In the years leading up to 2008 and the economic meltdown, I was part of that insanity – accumulation of unmanageable debt, an absence of a savings plan, and basing self-worth on net-worth.  Then, the year 2009 brought a major adjustment to my life’s vision.  Bankruptcy including the loss of my business, my income, and my home at the age of 62 involuntarily initiated a different style of living.  It was called simplicity, something I had always admired, but never truly embraced.  It was fine for other people, however, I saw it as poverty.

I learned to love simplicity after the necessary adjustments were made to spending habits and lifestyle.  I gained a freedom never before experienced, an opportunity to escape the treadmill called the American dream.  It affords hours daily to simply be, to commune with one’s nature, one’s Maker and the beauty of the earth given to us as a dwelling place.  Resting in awe of the incredible life process we experience is a daily ‘activity’.  Would you like to come and rest with me?  Sit under my palm tree and gaze at the horizon?

Jesus, who escaped to the serenity of a garden frequently, said it this way to his disciples: “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” MARK 6:30  Productivity and success are radically redefined when pursuing this lifestyle advised by the ancient mystics.

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So many of us have lived our lives placing unmerited value on the opinions of others while discrediting our personal truth and reality.  Breaking the shackles of people-pleasing requires honest self-appraisal, a healthy dose of self-esteem, and an enormous commitment to self-realization.  

pride8

….as near as the destination may be, it’s still the journey that matters….

 

peace like a river

disconnect

Welcome to my little get-away.  Do you like it?  Before we settle in let’s toss some of the excess baggage.  There’s no room for those resentments about the past nor worries about tomorrow.  Get rid of that backpack of responsibilities weighing you down.  Settle in under my palm tree and let’s look just beyond the horizon.  It’s calling us, isn’t it?  Rest for the soul. 

What we see beyond the horizon is merely a reflection of that which we know is indwelling.  Steadfast and unchanging, it is the arm into which we lean in feast and famine, in light and darkness, in joy and sorrow, in peace and conflict.  Comforter, counselor, redeemer, shepherd – faithfully waiting for us to quietly enter Presence.  Don’t wallow in yesterday, don’t worry about tomorrow for today in this moment we are reassured that sitting under our palm tree, gazing into the horizon is soul work of the utmost importance.

When peace like a river attendeth my soul,
when sorrow like sea billows roll,
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
‘it is well, it is well with my soul.'”
Horatio Spafford

So many of us have lived our lives placing unmerited value on the opinions of others while discrediting our personal truth and reality.  Breaking the shackles of people-pleasing requires honest self-appraisal, a healthy dose of self-esteem, and an enormous commitment to self-realization.  unshackled 3

pride8

….as near as the destination may be, it’s still the journey that matters….

 

stuff

disconnect

Welcome to my little get-away.  Do you like it?  Before we settle in let’s toss some of the excess baggage.  There’s no room for those resentments about the past nor worries about tomorrow.  Get rid of that backpack of responsibilities weighing you down.  Settle in under my palm tree and let’s look just beyond the horizon.  It’s calling us, isn’t it?  Rest for the soul. 

You have probably noticed that there is not a house under my palm tree, not even a hut or tent.  Running water would be nice, but what use is a bathroom without a house?  There is no shed for excess belongings, no lawn mower, no shovels, no wheelbarrow.  No need for a storage unit across town in which to store all the stuff that won’t fit into the attic or cellar or garage.  Pretty sparse by American standards – actually downright spartan.

Stuff – it’s the American way.  More, more, more to satisfy an insatiable thirst for possessions that will prove to our friends and neighbors how successful we are and to ourselves that we are special.  Then, when we tire of our stuff, we throw it into the dumpster and immediately run to Wally World to buy more stuff.  Stuff, stuff, stuff.

As we ponder the horizon from under our palm tree, let’s consider what our greed and Madison Avenue’s advertising genius have done to us as a society.  The USA consumes an enormously disproportionate share of the earth’s resources to produce all the conveniences and goods we are accustomed to having.  One would think, therefore, that we are the most content, well-balanced, satisfied nation on the surface of the planet enjoying the most advanced living standard.  Really?

What went wrong?  We bought into capitalism’s promises of fulfillment and happiness hook, line, and sinker.  We were snookered by the rich cats living in opulence surrounded by all their stuff which, by the way, is much better than our stuff.  Oh no.  Not only did they lead us astray, they got away with the really good stuff and left us with the junk!

Head spinning yet?  Come back, back to our horizon, back to our palm tree, back to what is important – living in the now.  Surrender to the wisdom of the ancient mystics who told us that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enjoy a place of peace (heaven) while saddled with his stuff.

pride8

unshackled-2

So many of us have lived our lives placing unmerited value on the opinions of others while discrediting our personal truth and reality.  Breaking the shackles of people-pleasing requires honest self-appraisal, a healthy dose of self-esteem, and an enormous commitment to self-realization.

incredible, aren’t we?

disconnect

Well, here we are – my little get-away.  Do you like it?  Before we settle in let’s toss some of the excess baggage.  There’s no room for those resentments about the past nor worries about tomorrow.  Get rid of that backpack of responsibilities weighing you down.  Settle in under my palm tree and let’s look just beyond the horizon.  It’s calling us, isn’t it?  Rest for the soul. 

We are magnificently designed.  Yet, of all the earth’s creation, we do not live our lives according to that which was intended for us.  Lions prowl the jungles and growl as intended, eagles soar through the skies and prey as intended, butterflies flit from flower to flower and pollinate as intended, trees grow majestic and tall giving shade  as intended.  But we humans, we ignore our incredible, wonderfully gifted inner self seeking instead the approval of others, experiencing conflict when that approval is not given, regretting our pasts and worrying about our futures.  All of creation, except us, live in the now.  We can change.  We can look beyond the limits of our self-imposed horizon and discover the incredible person that is us.

UNSHACKLED 2

time to unplug

 

A steady diet of shameful news, government corruption, political shenanigans sometimes needs to be met living a few days unplugged.  No FB, no news feeds, no front page stories cropped-35.pngin the newspaper, no diversions from self-imposed exile on my front porch…or maybe  a visit to my brothers on Constagos, my Mediterranean get-away island.  Love you all.

So many of us have lived our lives placing unmerited value on the opinions of others while discrediting our personal truth and reality.  Breaking the shackles of people-pleasing requires honest self-appraisal, a healthy dose of self-esteem, and an enormous commitment to self-realization.  

pride8

….as near as the destination may be, it’s still the journey that matters….

mysteries

 
lao tzu

“Ok, so I was thinking.  Back in the 600-500 B.C. era in China, good ole Lao probably didn’t have as much about which to be depressed or anxious as we do today in 2020.  The environment was just fine, the economy was thriving, the government was stable, the family was well fed, and he spent his days writing clever things while sitting in gardens filled with butterflies and hummingbirds.

Yeah, I know.  Lao Tzu was probably just a figment of China’s imagination, but the writings attributed to him in the Tao Te Ching have inspired humans for centuries.  It’s like Jesus of the New Testament.  We can’t really prove the historicity of his existence, but, haven’t the verses assigned to him enriched our worlds?

The mysteries that beguile us are probably best left to be just that – mysteries.  If we would spend less time trying to conquer and understand the complexities of the universe and more time simply enjoying moments of inspiration and joy, maybe then depression and anxiety would leave us.

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So many of us have lived our lives placing unmerited value on the opinions of others while discrediting our personal truth and reality.  Breaking the shackles of people-pleasing requires honest self-appraisal, a healthy dose of self-esteem, and an enormous commitment to self-realization.  

pride8

….as near as the destination may be, it’s still the journey that matters….

ALBUQUERQUE – you’re next

REUTERS

Not only has the presence of feds in Portland not reduced the number of protestors, the peaceful marchers have dramatically increased bringing international and national attention to the plight of Black America.  The ploy of the WH seems to have backfired, although we cannot underestimate what Washington D.C. is willing to undertake in efforts to establish its authoritarian power over the rights of states and citizens.

Coming to your home town – Albuquerque, you appear to be the next city in the crosshairs.  Brace yourselves and may God be with you.  Authoritarianism is rolling across America.

cropped-pride7.png

So many of us have lived our lives placing unmerited value on the opinions of others while discrediting our personal truth and reality.  Breaking the shackles of people-pleasing requires honest self-appraisal, a healthy dose of self-esteem, and an enormous commitment to self-realization.  

pride8

….as near as the destination may be, it’s still the journey that matters….